Sweep(stakes) Me Off My Feet

UPDATE: Voting lines now open. Please cast your vote by clicking here.

Problem solved! Earlier this week I was searching for ways to win money for our wedding and, as if I asked for it using techniques learned in “The Secret” (which I haven’t actually read because, of course, the concept that you can merely wish for something and it will come true is one that should only be propagated by children’s fairytales … an perhaps not even then), a solution landed in my e-mail box less than 24 hours later when I got this message:

After losing $100K a few years ago (well, not really “losing it” per se, as it was never mine … but losing it in principle anyway) the fact that this contest would give me that exact sum has got to be more than mere coincidence. Yes, I am implying that, in fact, I am destined to win this money.

Don’t believe me? I don’t know why. You see, I come from a long line of sweepstakes victors (okay, maybe that “long line” really just consists of my mother, but I plan to steadily keep this family line of winning going). What has my mother won, you might ask? Well, just last year Regis & Kelly sent her and my Dad on a trip to Aruba. Before that there was a big-screen tv, washer and dryer, a Ford Mustang, cash and gifts cards of all sorts, stereo systems, furniture, life-size statues of Mike & Sully from the movie “Monsters, Inc.,” other trips – cruises, a week in Hawaii, a lovely tour of San Francisco – just to name a few. And, of course, who could forget that summer she won approximately 63 of the 100 third-place prizes in some sort of sweeps, which resulted in me coming home to find 3-4 kazoos sitting on the doorstep … every single day for a few weeks.

Yet despite my mother’s dedication to entering, and sometimes winning, all number of sweepstakes I have yet to win myself anything more than a poorly-made luggage set and several t-shirts emblazoned with random company logos. But this new contest presents an extra challenge – there’s voting involved … by actual people … and they determine who wins. And that’s where you come in. Or, rather, where you will come in. We need you vote for us. But first we have to film a video and upload it. I’ll try to squeeze it in between filming my stalker-like video entries for HGTV. I can only juggle so many get rich quick schemes at one time.

I’ll keep you posted as to when voting lines open. And please remember – only you can help win me money that I in no way earned. Thank you.