I thought that title might grab you. And again … here are some words on a computer screen. It’s the best I can promise. Sincerely and somewhat respectfully, GAR
This whole blog thing got me thinking. Now I’m no blogger/writer per say, but I have written the occasional thingy (though those were purely academic in nature – sans any creativity). I am however completely fascinated by the world, people, interactions and society in the general sense AND a blog is all of the above. Your very own Hard Hat Bride and I were reviewing the blog’s statistics (Can you believe that she’s reached Malta, Algeria and Korea of all places? HHB rocks!). Anyway, each blog post has its very own stats on page viewings. I noticed that ones with fluffy names (e.g. Puppy Love) had the least amount of hits, whereas others (e.g. Hus-Banned) with more negative or arousing parts of the title had more hits … makes sense right? Of course it does. It’s the key words of destruction, taboo, excitement, dismay, craziness, infatuation, jealously and fear that are the impetus for our voyeuristic nature. That’s also the very same reason you clicked on this blog post. Surely there was one word in that nonsensical title that grabbed you and says a bit about who you are. Which one was it? I promise not to tell.
We are not a very difficult race to figure out or that sporadic … us humans that is (after all we are just animals and Pavlov proved that behavior could be conditioned with a dog treat and a ding). We all follow some loose form of cycles based off learned behavior, past experiences, good/poor/indifferent parenting, environments, peers, etc. I think that most people don’t want to be predictable, but if we weren’t would this post be skyrocketing in views over all our other posts? You , yeah you, are absolutely without a doubt terribly predictable and if you click the upper right-hand “X” in disgust of what you just read about yourself your blog view still counts (Win-Win-Win as Michael Scott would say – but mostly for me). This is all assumption on my part of course. I actually have no clue how many of you are reading this blog post due to the title, but I do know that “Witches’ Cauldron” sparked someone’s curiosity. Still think we are not that predictable? We all are – including me. However being predictable is not a bad thing and of course there’s a continuum.
People ask me all the time, “Are you analyzing me?” For those that don’t know me, I’m a therapist and professor in the same area. I also have a beer mug hanging at a tavern with my credentials engraved on the side. Hey, I “drank” the 100 beers to earn it, so stop judging me. Anyway, ever since I’ve taken my first undergraduate psychology class I’ve been probed with that same question. It’s usually from a different person every time and he or she always believes that they’re the first to pose that and that it’s hilarious (I’m assuming that it was funny the first time it was ever used. Actually, it would be nice if I had a time machine. I would like to see that – “Are thou analyzing me-eth?”). Usually it just comes off as Robin Williams/Dane Cook-ish (you know more awkward than funny and takes you nowhere). The truth is that I never analyze people. I don’t throw on my Freudian slippers and steal all your secrets – though I could and I think that’s off-putting for some. If you ask me that question there’s a high probability that there are things within that you don’t want people to know – predictability. To the same point, if you make a cliché witticism (like my oxymoron?) about having a slew of family members that could use my therapy skills, then you probably have a slew of family members that need my therapy skills – again, predictability. And since the rutabaga doesn’t fall far from the vine, this may be a device to distract from what you really want to say – “You’re not going to analyze me are you?” There’s no therapy trick to seeing any of this. It’s the reason that I can see your passive aggressiveness from a mile away and in the same light the reason I can see your selflessness and deep compassion for others. It is absolutely the reason I could see the wonderful compassionate, honest and loving person in my beautiful hard hat bride on our first date … and on our second date and third and so on. Ah … didn’t see this blog post going there did ya? So let’s talk about love and psychoanalysis. Just joking, But I will add brief commentary about love, relationships and “predictability.” People say, “You know when you know” which is horrible advice (I would need a whole other blog post to explain this to you, so just trust me), but this platitude is also very true. But how does one get there? The answer is simple – Stop being predictable. But wait, GAR just said that there’s no way to elude this trait (and trying to not be predictable is predictable, so you’re basically screwed). So how does one change the unchangeable? In short, there are a million reasons why we become predictable (even if it’s as small and unconscious as always eating the same side item with your burger), but few that combat it. I would like to offer one: openness and acceptance (OK that was two). Accept who you are at this very moment and that will allow you to be open to what comes to you. This will destroy any predictability that gets in your way. Love is like golf, if you get out of your head, you will fully experience and enjoy the round ... I mean the love that’s in front of you.
Wow, who knew this post was going to go from a Helicopter Jump to opening yourself up to love? I guess I did, but it’s an important point for all. We can never stop being predictable, nor should we. I’m always going to duck when someone yells, “duck!” And I’m always going to be open, loving and compassionate toward my HHB and there for her when she needs me. I guess I could have just made that simple point rather than than take you down a long road going nowhere, but … wouldn’t that be too predictable?