Monday, June 13, 2011

A Guide to Rock’n Roll Wedding Attire? Well, isn’t that simply fedorable.

Ascot what your country can do for you … OK, sorry about the puns. GAR here for a third time! I know you’re probably sick of me holding my dear Hard Hat Bride’s Blog hostage, but it’s these pedestrian posts that really illuminate my love’s wonderful writing skills. Plus I have no clue how to create my own blog.

So I know what’s on your mind right at this very moment: “What do I wear to a Rock n’ Roll inspired wedding?” Leather, tall boots, chains, black skinny jeans, sleeve tattoos, white powder under my nose? Maybe something with a British flag? These are some images that may arise for you as you think back to your MTV days when they actually showed videos. Whether you were a fan of Dial MTV, Alternative Nation or Head Bangers Ball, you knew what “rock” looked like. But team this with the idea of a wedding and the only image that comes to mind is Slash from the Guns n’ Roses video “November Rain” (at least for me it does).

When we first came up with the idea of a Rock n’ Roll wedding theme, we had an inkling of where to begin, but not the whole scheme. We did know that music and concerts are one of our strong passions. From STP to Cake to Tom Petty, we’ve witnessed some great shows. There’s nothing like seeing the energy of a band live on stage. Whether they’re just rocking out, hitting you with riffs you’ve worn your CD out to (or tape or LP or 8-track if that was your world), or launching their set with some humbling guitar feedback, there is a vigor in the air that your body can’t help but harness and ride for the next week. My favorite moments are when the band kicks it to the crowd to take over the singing. There’s something very powerful about hearing an entire arena sing a full song for the artist. What a rush this is for us and we wanted to bring some of that to our special day. I’m confident in saying that if we could get married on-stage during a concert we would. As we developed an outline of what we think would fit into a Rock inspired ceremony and reception the notion of what to wear came up.

So let’s lay down some “Do’s and Don’ts” for you:

1. Do be comfortable. The bride, groom, groomsmen, and even some parents will be sporting Converse All-stars or Vans. Honestly, if you plan on dancing or just enjoy walking in general, it’s a great way to be fashionably comfortable.

Don’t wear flip flops. I know we’re in Florida, but you’re still at a wedding. And unless you are dressed in Beach Boys’ attire, frankly it doesn’t make sense (Even if you do talk all night about how “Pet Sounds” is one of the best rock albums ever made)

2. Do (for the guys) wear your favorite concert or band t-shirt with a sports jacket or suit. This can be one of the most relaxed ways of enjoying your night. And if you wear a dress shirt please feel OK leaving the tie at home; unless you are going with the full Angus Young look (Google him if you don’t know this great guitarist)

Don’t break out your camouflage cargo shorts. We didn’t invite the lead singer of Limp Bizket and there’s no need to pay homage to him.

3. Do (for the gals) be creative in your dress. This can include, but not limited to, animal or fun prints, lace, ruffles, fringe or a simple dress with fun accessories. Basically anything that would make Bruce Springsteen pick you right out of the crowd to dance on stage.

Don’t shave half your hair off Cyndi Lauper style or go for the full Sinead or Billy Corgan. An ounce of Rock n’ Roll can go a long way (and we imagine that you have to go to work on Tuesday). On the other hand, we are not getting married on a southern plantation – so no need to debutant it up.

4. Do dress in a way that allows you to boogie down. I almost said “dance like no one’s looking” but that’s just a stupid saying (I might as well put wooden words up in my house). We want you to have fun, dance, cut-a-rug and groove so let your wardrobe allow that.

Don’t wear clothes that can restrict you of this. This can include outfits that cause wardrobe malfunctions if you take more than 3 inch steps, cumbersome masks, wallets with eight junkyard dog chains attached to your belt and of course sunglasses at night - with that one, you’re just looking for trouble. We may let it slide you are the biggest Gwar or Insane Clown Posse fan in the world, but good luck walking up the stairs in that sweet Gwar ensemble.

5. Do get fun with colors. Colors can remind us of our favorite artists. From the “Man in Black” to the psychedelic attire of a Mr. Hendrix they all had a style of their own. So, go with colors that make you Rock.

Don’t get fun with colors after tripping on acid or taking your prescribed pain medication. Those things can be quite strong and you’ll be seeing so many colors that you will end up dressed like the cast from Saved by the Bell. (Disclaimer: Neither GAR or your Hard Had Bride condone any use of illegal substances or the misuse of legal prescriptions. However, we do condone the misuse Pop Rocks and Cola)

6. Lastly, and most importantly don’t glitter up. If you do, think about others because man, that stuff is hard to get off. A misuse of power regarding any glitter product may get you booted by one of our highly trained bouncers with low moral fortitude.

Overall, wear what you think Rock ‘n Roll is to you. Maybe it’s your favorite artist, an escape from the world that confines you, or just a practical pair of blue suede shoes. Whichever it is, dress for fun and dress for a Rock Wedding. So jump on your crazy trains, yellow submarines or wild horses and break on through to the other side because schools out for the summer and your momma don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock and roll. After all as Classical Oboe player Mitch Miller once said, “The reason kids like rock ‘n roll is their parents don’t.” Wait … I think I’m starting to lose touch with this blog post. Let’s end with the words of some real rockers. When thinking of dress and mindset for a Rock ‘n Roll Wedding …

Rock 'n roll music is what gets me off - Joan Jett

We're a rock group. We’re noisy, rowdy, sensational and weird - Angus Young

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