Okay, so really it’s Behr paint I’m using, but I think all those companies could do a better job with those little paint swatches you pick up from the store. Because, come on, that “sage green” we picked for painting our house is anything but – it looks more like a dull tan now that it’s actually up on our exterior walls. And, while that color looks okay, it wasn’t really what we were going for here. But, of course I’ll leave it this way because we’re already 2/3 a 5-gallon bucket into painting this beast and there’s no turning back now – we just have to live with it looking this way for the next 5-10 years (and hopefully by then we’ll have the money saved up to just pay someone to paint it for us … hopefully).
It really is my fault. I did buy a little sample can first and tried it out before I committed to the whole bucket. And, yes, I did think the color wasn’t quite right when I painted on the sample. But it didn’t seem so very different, and it had taken Groom-A-Saurus Rex (GAR) and I ages to agree on that color in the first place so I really didn’t want to go back to the drawing board. Besides, I’m generally so good at this whole color selection thing (the “porpoise”-colored dining room disaster aside).
And, okay, let’s face it – I was eager to paint my house anything, ANYTHING, other than the baby blue and teal it was previously.
So we’ve been forging on – GAR with his bad back and me with my unwillingness to do manual labor (especially in this heat) – and working our way through our bucket o’ paint. And, while we have made some progress, it feels like we still have a lot to do (GAR, on the other hand, keeps saying “we’re almost done!” which I think is simply further proof of the delusion he puts into every task. A week … no, maybe a month … from now he’ll be saying “this is taking longer than I thought.” I’ll try to hold back on the “I told you so” – “try” being the operative word here). What makes things worse is that this weekend has been rainy. Yesterday we made it indoors before the rain hit but, still, GAR spent the whole afternoon fretting that the rain was washing away all our hard work. As if that would really make matters worse – after all, our house is sort of the zebra on the cul-de-sac. Meaning, of course, that right now the whole thing is striped mess. Blocks of greenish tan next to sections that are still baby blue. The doors are still teal but we did manage to paint our shutters charcoal (though you can still see bits of teal poking through – a few more coats are needed). And the trim is a sloppy mess of dirty white and all the other colors mingled in as well. Okay, so maybe it’s not simply black and white (actually, zebras are technically brown and white, or so I hear every time I visit the zoo), so my house looks more like that multi colored zebra from that horrible Chico’s commercial (you know the one? It has, seriously, the worst clothing featured in it. And then it shows this monstrosity at the end – as if some poor, maligned animal a selling point?)
Okay, so that’s not the actual zebra from the commercial, but you get the point – my house is a hodgepodge of colors, and progress is slow-going. And, at some point, GAR has to get up on the roof to paint the chimney and some otherwise hard-to-reach spots. He keeps threatening to do it while I’m off at work one day. Yes, because a guy with a thrown-out back should really be climbing onto the roof without any supervision. I’m picturing a Chevy Chase-style spill that will leave him dangling from the roof’s edge, caught on a hook he hung in December for our Christmas lights, keeping him stranded until I make it home from work that day. Not a good idea. Of course, I guess I could spare him the physical hardship and do it myself. After all, I have no injuries to speak of – yet. But, come on, we all know that’s not going to happen. In the immortal words of Meatloaf, I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that (I’m guessing there are probably a few other things I wouldn’t do as well, but for now these lyrics will suffice).
But I do wish GAR well. Not only in scaling the roof, but also in working on this project without me in general. I’ve got work M-F (unlike him) and then I’m out of town the next few weekends. And, since he thinks this project is nearly done, he should have no problem at all finishing it without me. Piece of cake, right? I look forward to seeing the finished product!
Here's GAR painting. He looks like a total pro. I am confident that he can take it from here!
I really think the zebra look is working for us ... maybe we should just leave it this way? (p.s. faux columns by the door - I'm coming for you too!)