Sunday, March 24, 2013

London Calling

I’m sorry I couldn’t think up a more creative title for this post but, you guys, my brain is dissolving (I just had to have spell check correct the word “dissolving” for me because, apparently, I no longer remember how to spell, in addition to all the other nasty ways my brain is letting me down).

I mean, I’ve heard of this thing called “pregnancy brain” before – where your brain gets all fuzzy and you’re not quite as sharp as you used to be – but I kind of thought it was just a way of explaining why pregnant ladies forget stuff due to the fact that they have lots of other things on their mind. But, truth be told, I’m not flighty because I’m overrun with thoughts and planning and other details – I’m just stupider all of a sudden. And it just kicked in. But I’m overdue on writing a post about our “babymoon” in London so you get to hear from me anyway – stupidness and all.

Since neither of us wants to read a whole post of poorly written nonsense by a half-witted preggo, let me just give you the quick lowdown on our trip (followed by pretty pictures) – It was fun and terribly cold, with famously cool accents and some bad 90s comedy that I found to be totally dissimilar from what I generally associate with British humour (the extra “u” makes it extra British), with some big-city flavour thrown into the mix … and did I mention that it was cold (not to mention dreadfully rainy)? And, while I couldn’t drink a pint in some jolly ol’ pub, I did learn that with enough jam and clotted cream I DO like scones after all.

Most of all I just felt like I was in an older, more historic version of NYC. I suppose it’s all perspective, but I didn’t feel like England is all that different from the U.S. really (which makes sense given our nation’s history) so at times it didn’t feel like we had traveled so far to be there. And, pound for pound (or pound for dollar), I found the Brits to be easily just as drunk and obnoxious as us Americans (if not more, “Jersey Shore” cast excluded) and, weirdly, that made me just a little more proud of my homeland (though, let’s be honest, being sober probably made me more apt to be annoyed by such things so perhaps my judgment is slightly fuzzy on that one). But, let me tell you, London sure is a fun city … and I definitely want to go back in the future (perhaps when I CAN enjoy a few pints to fight off the bitter gloominess of the weather there).

And, without further ado, here’s some photos!

After landing in London we started by taking a double-decker bus tour of the city (disclaimer: this is not our actual bus, but you get the general idea)

We saw all the basic sites, including Big Ben (or, you know, the tower that houses Big Ben, which is a bell ... a fact you hear about 200 times whilst in London)

We also took this really cool British Rock n' Roll walking tour. We saw the pub (now a record store) where The Stones were founded, the place where Jimi Hendrix got his start and this house - the roof (the building was not as tall back then) is where The Beatles held their last concert

This is Westminster Abbey. Darwin, Newton and a whole lotta other important people are buried here (but you can't take photos inside - wah wah)

I did take this lovely photo of GAR in the courtyard at Westminster though (because technically that's not "inside" the Abbey)

Here's the Tower of London. Fatty King Henry VIII had 2 of his wives beheaded here. So that's pretty cool

I still don't know why they're called Beefeaters (they don't even know) but I'm not above drinking their gin anyway (though I prefer a vodka martini personally)

The Tower Bridge, unlike London Bridge, has never fallen victim to a children's song that questions its structural integrity

They did remove the Olympic rings though (we were just a few months too late)

Because we were playing the part of typical tourists we took a trip in the London Eye

And we went at night so it would look all purty up there

Did I mention that the weather was pretty shitty? To prevent ourselves from getting S.A.D. we went shopping and split a gelato milkshake at Harrods

I let GAR pick a theatre show for us to see. He chose the most British sounding play he could find - One Man, Two Guvnors. It was actually quite hilarious, and one of the actors literally broke a leg onstage. The main character in the show filled the time while we waited for her understudy to show up by doing impromptu stand-up, leading the audience in a group sing-a-long of Bob Marley's "One Love" and even eating fire. I don't think we'll ever see another show quite like it

We visited the Queen's weekend and summer home, Windsor Castle. It was another rainy day so it looked totally foreboding and creepy

And we went and saw these rocks as well

These are the Roman Baths. They were my favorite thing I saw while in England ... which I think just proves that I am always partial to anything Italian

Of course we had to see some stand-up. Mostly it was a combo of cheap fart jokes, making fun of "gays," obvious bits about horsemeat in burgers and, randomly, some political musical numbers thrown in for a more serious note

This is the Rosetta Stone. It's pretty important. It even has language software named after it

Of course we also stalked the Queen at her weekday estate, Buckingham Palace. That snob wouldn't even let us inside for tea

With all those years of English history and gore we thought it would fun to take a ghost tour. The only one we could find was aboard this bus, which featured an actor telling us stories of the various specters one can find around town while employing some bad acting techniques for added entertainment

Oh yeah, and here's me in Hyde Park rocking my 15- week baby bump. Dear kiddo - I sure hope you'll treasure all these in utero memories of London!

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